how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
