I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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