Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Randomize