I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
