a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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