he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
