someone owes me an orgasm
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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