Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
