She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
