Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
We need to get me chipped asap
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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