yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
