So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
He did a backflip because drugs
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