So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize