i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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