your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
