shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
