Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
