I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
