I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize