found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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