I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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