'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Also, beer. Big fan.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
