i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Four minutes until I can fart!
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
