maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
