This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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