: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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