where does the pee come out of this thing
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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