jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
please come you make the beer taste better
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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