it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Randomize
