While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
