You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
