that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
