God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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