U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
