alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
