i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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