this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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