I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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