So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
The air taste purple.
Randomize