Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
