If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
