I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
