I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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