last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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