You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
