Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
