Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
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