she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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