I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
