apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Randomize
