Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize