I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
