I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
