dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
