She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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