I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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