But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
