two words: eviction party
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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