Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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