So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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