your thong is hanging out like whoa
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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