I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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