Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
