can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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