can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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