honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
